St Paddy's Day
by mysterywriter012
Summary: Its Happy Hour on St. Paddy's Day on the Atlantis Base. Colonel Carter regrets coming to visit when she sees that everyone is drunk, and saying stuff they would never normally say...or do. A fun little one-shot.


Colonel Carter turned her head to the sound of a high pitched laughter coming from the balcony. She raised an eyebrow questionably, and turned to Mr. Woolsey. Mr. Woolsey shrugged.

"It's Saint Patty's Day…" Mr. Woolsey stated simply. "Yes, thank you Sir. But what was that?" Colonel Carter asked, before the high pitched laugh was joined by a deep one.

Mr. Woolsey stuttered. "I…I…well…"

Colonel Carter rolled her eyes and headed down the hallway, and turned the corner, Mr. Woolsey was struggling to keep up. Colonel Carter stopped as she looked out the glass doors that led to the balcony.

She saw a whole bunch of people standing on the balcony, merry as could be. They all had smiles on their faces and glasses in their hand.

Colonel Carter looked at Mr. Woolsey. "Are they all intoxicated?" she questioned, avoiding the word _drunk._

"Well Ronon and Colonel Sheppard came and…well you've seen Ronon! How could I stop that guy?" Mr. Woolsey asked, holding up his hands. Colonel Carter sighed, before walking out onto the balcony.

She saw Colonel Sheppard, Teyla Emmagon, Ronon Dex, Rodney McKay, Carson Beckett, Major Lorne, and Doctor Zelenka on the pier. They all smiled up at her as she walked on.

"Hey look its…Sar….Sal…Sam!" Colonel Sheppard stated, raising his glass of Corona at her. He began to laugh a few seconds later. Colonel Carter scoffed in disgust. "Sheppard, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Aw. Don't be a part pooper Sammanthaaaa. Its Saint Patty's Day. Now have some beer and some socks…scotch!" Carson Becket piped up from his spot next to Rodney. Colonel Carter noticed that Rodney appeared to be the least drunk out of all of them.

"Rather not…thank you…" Colonel Carter replied. She watched as Teyla sipped another sip of the drink that was in her hand. "Teyla, do you know what that is your drinking?" Colonel Carter asked.

Teyla smiled down at her drink before taking another sip. "If we had this on Athos…" she began. She went to walk towards Colonel Carter, but she tripped over Ronon's feet and fell.

Ronon looked down at her and they all began to laugh. Colonel Carter bit her lip to keep herself from shouting. She couldn't believe the most skilled people on the base were ridiculously intoxicated.

She heard a sigh come from Carson Beckett. "Well, Rodney…after all these years of being friends there is something I finally want to do…" he said, grinning at Rodney.

"What's that?" Rodney asked, looking over at him. His first cup of his half empty beer sat infront of him. Carson leaned over slightly. "Happy Saint Patty's Day…" he said, before kissing Rodney on the lips.

Rodney pulled away almost immediately. "Carson! What are you…why did you do that?!" Rodney asked, spitting in disgust. Colonel Carter blinked in shock a few times.

"I'm sorry. Carson did you just k-"

"Hey! You know what we should do?" Colonel Sheppard asked, as Teyla stood up and placed herself on his lap. "Let's go kill something…" Ronon suggested.

"How about we climb a tree?" Major Lorne suggested.

"There are no trees here, Evan…" Colonel Carter spoke up.

"Yet. Let's make one!" Major Lorne said, grinning at Carson Beckett.

"We should watch that movie… _Bewitched_. With Nicole Kidman and Will Farrell. There is this crazy scene…" Colonel Sheppard paused to sip his drink.

"There is this crazy scene…where a lady drops out of the fireplace….indian style!!" Colonel Sheppard blurted, before cracking up.

Ronon laughed, and stood up. "I need to go…wee-wee…" he said, stumbling past Colonel Carter. He disappeared in through the door. Colonel Sheppard made a "pfffft" sound.

"Ronon is going to take a dump….dumpster doo…." He said. Teyla began to laugh hysterically and Carson began to cry because he was laughing so hard.

Carson Beckett looked at Colonel Carter. "You have a Zee-Bra…." He stated.

"A Zebra? No I don't." Colonel Carter said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes you do. You want to know how I know?" Carson asked, grinning.

"No. Thank You, I'd rather not know…" Colonel Carter said, shaking her head.

Colonel Sheppard began laughing again. Colonel Carter had it.

"Its wonderful that you are all celebrating the holiday, but seriously!? You are all the most important people on this base. John what would you do if a wraith came up to you right now?" Colonel Carter asked.

Colonel Sheppard paused, before smiling. Colonel Carter knew what was coming.

"I would say 'Mustang Sally! Guess you better slooooow that Mustang down….'….then show off some of my killer dance moves…" Colonel Sheppard said, his face looking devilish in the moonlight.

"No. We should…take it fishing!" Carson spoke up.

"We should do face painting!" Major Lorne exclaimed.

"We should dress it in a kilt!" Carson exclaimed.

Everyone began laughing again, and Colonel Carter groaned.

"Whatever! You all are ridiculous and I'm not walking you all to bed!" she said, walking away.

"Oooo. Colonel Carter is angwy…." Colonel Sheppard spoke up, like he was talking to a baby.

"ANGWY!" Dr. Zelenka repeated.

Colonel Sheppard looked up at Teyla. "What do you say to you and me and…some whipped cream and satin sheets?" he asked her.

"Can we bring popcorn?" Teyla asked, grinning.

"Oh Yes. We are going to pop that corn…" Colonel Sheppard replied.

Colonel Carter shut the door and looked at Mr. Woolsey. "All I have to say…is…wow…" Colonel Carter said, shaking her head.

There was the sound of some loud banging, and they walked down the stairs and around the corner to see Ronon bashing an umbrella against one of the puddle jumpers, standing there in his boxers and his normal muscle shirt.

"Why won't you answer me?! Give me back my pants!" he yelled.

Colonel Carter and Mr. Woolsey exchanged looks.

"Happy Saint Patty's Day…" Mr. Woolsey spoke up.

"Next year, do me a favor and hide the alcohol…" Colonel Carter said.

"Its only a matter of time before they find the s-"

_BOOM_

Colonel Carter's eyes shifted worriedly, before she looked at Mr. Woolsey.

"What…was…that?" she asked.

"Sparklers, fireworks, and confetti guns…" Mr. Woolsey finished.

"Are you…" Colonel Carter paused.

She shook her head and walked in the opposite direction. "Next year, don't invite me!" she called back.

Mr. Woolsey turned to look back at Ronon, who was grinning.

"Ha-ha. Go Boom!" he said, before attacking the puddle jumper again.


End file.
